Inspired by Chris Farley’s “Van Down by the River”… His name in the skit was Matt as well.
What’s your plan for while you’re out there? What are some of your goals?
When I first started thinking about this essay, I was sitting alone in a bungalow out in the jungles of Thailand’s Khao Sok National Park. There was no Wifi or cell phone service in that area so for the entire week contact with the outside world was almost entirely cut off. Most of the locals didn’t speak English very well so it got a bit lonely here and there. This is just how it goes with solo travel sometimes so take it for what it is. But there was just something about that bungalow which called for a serious self evaluation at the time.
It was the cheapest place available on Agoda, only about four dollars per night so you can’t expect much obviously. I was plenty used to staying in cheap, run down places at this point so nothing about it really surprised me. Needless to say, the place was weathered; there was no running water or air conditioning and the floors had holes leading straight to the ground in certain areas so you had to step with caution.
I became excited upon noticing that there was an oscillating fan but quickly became disappointed after finding out that it was broken. The place had two windows though so hopefully there’d be some wind come bedtime (there was absolutely none). There were maybe ten other bungalows on this property, half of which were completely collapsed and broken beyond repair; sitting there rotting away.
Seeing all of this made me a bit weary, thinking mine could collapse at any moment or as I’m sleeping in the middle of the night, right as I’m hitting REM; that would be just my luck. There was a mosquito net surrounding the bed but it had massive holes in it which the mosquitos found convenient. This left me with an important decision to make each night: sleep with a blanket covering my face in order to prevent the mosquitos from feeding on me but cook due to the heat or leave it exposed in order to breathe better. Keep in mind however that the oscillating fan was broken.
The weather was so hot and humid that week but that made the cold water bucket showers at the end of each day much more tolerable. I’ve lived in much worse environments than this before so I was still plenty happy for the most part. Experiences like this bring me back to the army days, where I’ve literally slept in a pile of goat shit before (we’ll have to save that story for another time). The only thing missing now were some friends; it gets lonely out in the jungle sometimes, and that’s my only real complaint.
This was about three months into my travels and it had been a pretty rough day or two which (rightfully so) led me to start questioning many of my life decisions up until that point. What am I doing? Where am I going? Why can’t I just fall in line like seemingly everyone else and pursue an orthodox career doing this or that? Was dropping out of that MBA program actually a good decision? I’d prized myself over the years by thinking that I had a strong sense of self awareness but is that really the case? After all, here I am, alone at thirty years old living in a bungalow out in the jungle over 8,000 miles (12,800 km) away from home.
A conversation with my father from about a week or two prior to moving here had popped into my head and began to resonate. He mentioned a video featured on Facebook about people who were renovating vans so they can live in them and work on the road; apparently it’s becoming somewhat of a popular trend throughout the world and I can certainly see the appeal. But it was as if he was insinuating that living in a van (probably down by a river) was a better/more understandable option for me to take in life rather than moving abroad and… living in a bungalow out in the jungle… I thought to myself: “Don’t you dare prove him right Matt; figure yourself out.”
Now, there is a quote that goes something along the lines of “Everyone has a plan until they get hit.” It’s derived from an old military paraphrase which states that: No plan survives contact with the enemy. I came here with a plan, many plans actually and that was my number one problem because it was difficult to decide on which one is best. It seemed as though every other day was a change in plans which made the road ahead very unclear.
“What do you want out of life? Where do you see yourself in six months, one year, four years, ten, twenty, thirty etc. What is your vision?”
One thing for sure is that entrepreneurship has always and will always be my number one aspiration in life. This doesn’t necessarily mean having a registered LLC or corporation, it simply means taking risks. Building a life that excites you and doing whatever is necessary (as long as it’s morally straight of course) in order to make those things in your mind a reality. One of the goals is to create an official business eventually but that’s still down the road a bit. For now, we’re still in the research and development phase but making progress of course.
Looking back at my time in the jungle, I had too many ideas, too many possibilities and no set direction which was causing a lot of doubt. Life is already uncertain enough as is, even with a specific plan because nothing is ever guaranteed obviously. Regardless, planning ahead will prevent you from getting lost or going off path but remember that as stated earlier, no plan survives contact with the enemy; so always be ready for change by having backups.
Perhaps most importantly, stay true to your vision for the future and the steps will appear as you go (mind you, the plans and goals need to align with the vision itself). Mine has been alive for over a decade at this point but it hasn’t changed a whole lot; the scenery certainly has though… Wanna know what it is? Click here.
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